The rumor mill regarding the Miami Dolphins vacant coaching position has kicked into warp speed — with lots of talk that the ‘Phins will be paying a big bill. Or Bill.
How about Bill Cowher?

How about Bill Parcells?

How about — wait for it — Bill Belichick?

Starting in this reality and moving progressively deeper into fantasy-land … The Miami Herald reports that “a person close to Cowher said Wednesday he would be willing to listen” to a Dolphins offer.

The latter two rumors come via the most esteemed profootballtalk.com.

Parcells:

This is all speculation, but there’s talk in league circles that, if the Fins decide to keep G.M. Randy Mueller, a Mueller-Parcells pairing could work.  Parcells, we’re told, has always had a good relationship with Mueller.  And there is an increasing belief that Parcells has had all he can take of Dallas owner Jerry Jones.

Speculation indeed. The only good part of that scenario would be the wreck he would leave the organization in four or five years.

As for Belichick:

Look, we’re not about to make goofy-ass predictions (e.g., Bill Belichick might leave New England to coach the Texans), but the same spider sense that told us that we were on to something with the Saban-to-Alabama thing (even as everyone involved denied it repeatedly) tells us that something (we’re not sure what) could go down with Belichick and the Pats once their season ends — and that Belichick could land somewhere else.

Maybe even Miami.

Is it unfair to engage in such speculation?  We don’t think so, because the aura of mystery surrounding Belichick’s contract with the Patriots invites rumor and innuendo.  

Does it expire after this season?  Next season?  After the 2027 season?

This actually reads less like speculation than the Parcells item. “Spider sense” could well be a euhphemism for “highly placed source.” Or it could be a euphemism for “voice in my head that goes away when I take my pills.” PFT is good, so while I would be floored (and delighted) if Little Bill is anywhere but patrolling the Patriots’ sidelines next year (no — check that — I’d prefer he be in New England than he be in Miami), I can’t completely dismiss the rumor as the keyboard mutterings of a loon.

Just wild-ass speculation. Or is that wild ass-speculation?